


i need somebody, to love me blue

by wonhee



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: But also, Fluff, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, I can't write summaries to save my life, M/M, Minor Violence, Smut, Violence, all i ever write is fluff, but what else is new, hoseok's whipped, lil bit of smut, nothing too crazy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-05
Updated: 2018-07-05
Packaged: 2019-06-05 19:08:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15177365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wonhee/pseuds/wonhee
Summary: “So, you the preacher’s son huh?”“Yeah. And you’re in my way.”**bad boy hoseok meets preacher's son kihyun





	i need somebody, to love me blue

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from Zayn's 'Blue'

Kihyun first saw him in front of the church, light shining through the windows like a beacon over him. He was sprawled on the steps of the church, unlit cigarette dangling between his lips. He was dressed head to toe in black, ripped jeans revealing a tattoo on his thigh. His hair, a vibrant unapologetic blue stuck up in different directions, as if he’d been running through it with his fingers. Peeking out from his v-neck shirt, Kihyun saw a mess of black tattoos on his pale collarbones and neck. His lips, plump and pink and currently smirking, held two piercings. His eyes, almond shaped and brown, held Kihyun’s gaze. He was beautiful, but he was also in Kihyun’s way.

“So, you the preacher’s son huh?”

“Yeah. And you’re in my way.”

“Go over me.” The guy replied, winking as he brought out a lighter.

“There’s no way to do that without stepping over you. If that’s what you want then.”

The guy scoffed, shifting slightly until there was a gap Kihyun could walk through.

“You could have jumped over me. Too scared?”

Kihyun ignored him, making his way up the stairs.

“Be seeing you around, preacher’s boy!” the guy called, laughing silently and Kihyun sighed, opening the doors of the church with force and leaving him behind in the snow.

*

The last of the snow had just finished melting when Kihyun next saw him. Zooming past Kihyun in a black motorcycle, hair flapping in the wind and screaming as he passed by. Like he _wanted_ to stand out. Kihyun envied that, envied his freedom; even envied how hated he was in the community. Kihyun wanted that, to be hated because at least it meant he was being himself. It would have been 10 times better than his current situation; being lied to and people constantly pretending to like him. Fake, all of them were fake.

Hoseok, was the guy’s name, as Kihyun found out. His name was on everybody’s tongue, gossip after gossip about his past and his parents. He did whatever he wanted. Breezed through the town with his friends, screaming, laughing, and living life to the fullest. Never mind that people ran away from him when he walked by, or that Kihyun’s father hated him with a passion. Hated how he came into their God fearing town and made himself a statement in it with his tattoos, and smoking and rowdy friends.

“I don’t ever want to see you near that boy. Do you understand?” his father had cautioned, roughly grabbing him. He had apparently seen Kihyun talking to Hoseok on the church steps, and he was already afraid that Kihyun had fallen in with the wrong crowd.

With a sigh, Kihyun pulled his jacket tighter, and made his slow walk inside the forest, to the barren fields. Without their crops, the people of Cedar Cove often found it difficult to last through winter. They turned their attention elsewhere, fishing if possible or making furniture to sell to tourists that passed by. It suited Kihyun perfectly, in winter he could be alone in the fields, contemplating his future, no father to reprimand him, no dead mother to feel guilty for.

It was perfect.

Or so he thought.

As he neared the bench placed under what used to be a flourishing apple tree, he stopped, heart hammering in his chest. He could recognise him anywhere, blue hair always making him stand out from the rest. Holding his breath, Kihyun turned, cautiously attempting to make his way back before he’s spotted.

“Preacher’s boy!”

Kihyun stopped, silently cursing his luck before turning around and glaring at him.

“It’s Kihyun.

“Okay, _Kihyun_. What are you doing here?”

“You don’t have to know.”

Hoseok grinned, standing up from the bench and walking slowly to Kihyun.

“You always this rude?” he asked, pulling a cigarette out of his pocket and lighting it in a swift motion.

“Only to those that deserve it.” Kihyun answered, stepping back from him a bit.

“Yeah? What’d I do? Or is that your prejudice speaking?”

Kihyun startled, blushing a deep shade of red; because yeah, it was the prejudice speaking.

“N-no you keep calling me preacher’s boy.” Kihyun muttered, aware of how lame his excuse was. Hoseok laughed, head thrown back as he leaned on the tree opposite Kihyun’s.

“Alright what’d you like me to call you? Ki, Kihyunnie? Kiki?”

“I just told you my name.” Kihyun replied.

“Kihyunnie it is.”

Kihyun rolled his eyes, swiftly turning and walking away, smell of smoke following him the way home.

*

“ _What_ , does the lord want?”

Barely able to keep his eyes open, Kihyun straightened his back, eyes fixed to the front of the church where his father was currently giving a sermon. His neck felt constricted in his suit and tie and the summer heat seeped into his bones, enveloping him in sweat. It was his birthday, he had finally turned 18 and as usual his father gave an extra-long sermon in his honour. Kihyun supposed that was his way of showing love.

He was seated right at the front, where his father could preach and scrutinise him at the same time. Out of character for a moment, Kihyun had dyed his hair a light shade of brown over the spring, golden highlights glistering in the sun. He liked it, loved it. But his father did not, blamed everyone and everything for Kihyun’s sudden change and had locked him in his room for a week as punishment.

“I do this because I need you to stay in the light Kihyun. Dyeing your hair is only the first step before you fall.” He had said as an excuse when he finally let Kihyun out, handing him a bible. Kihyun had silently accepted it, and walked back into his room. He didn’t cross paths with Hoseok again after that winter, Hoseok stuck to his side of town, where the parties raged on all night and police were frequent visitors. Kihyun didn’t mind, he welcomed the silence in his side of the town for a while. Without Hoseok, his friends seemed to lose their bravery too. He had seen them sitting at the back of the church in the morning, looking as lost as Kihyun felt.

Finally finishing his sermon, Kihyun’s father extended his hand to him, pulling him up. This was the part Kihyun hated the most. His father using him as an example of what a model child of God looked like. He could see Hoseok’s friends snickering in the background and it took all of him not to run, far away and never come back. Instead, he stood his ground, smiling widely and enthusiastically letting his father use him as a prop.

Momentarily distracted, Kihyun glanced out the window, eyes locking with piercing brown ones. Hoseok was outside, tank tops showing his tattoos on full display. He grinned, raising his eyebrows at Kihyun and silently cocking his head to one side.

“Meet me?” he mouthed.

Kihyun turned back to his father, watched as he finished talking and people started to file out of the room.

“Dad, can I stay back for a bit? I want to thank God.” Kihyun asked, hoping his face didn’t betray him. His father looked at him for a bit before smiling, patting his head lightly.

“Of course. Be back home in time for the evening prayer.”

With that, he was gone. And Kihyun waited for a moment before he too left the church, walking towards the side where he saw Hoseok; hoping with all his might he was still there.

Hoseok was sat on the ground, back turned and Kihyun contemplated walking away. Glancing at himself in one of the church’s windows, brown hair fading back to black, eyes tired and spirit crushed, he walked forward and tapped Hoseok on the shoulder.

“You actually came.” Hoseok whispered, grinning as he grabbed Kihyun’s hand to pull himself up. “Happy birthday.”

Kihyun looked down at their still entwined hand before turning back to Hoseok. “How’d you know it’s my birthday?”

“Oh my friends told me this morning they were going to a sermon the preacher has for his kid on his birthday every year. Apparently everyone in town is required to come.”

“Yeah or get shunned by God forever. Speaking of which, you’re now shunned by God.” Kihyun joked, laughing as he finally detaching his hand from Hoseok’s.

Hoseok’s lips turned up into a smile and he stepped back, dramatically tapping his chest. “Did you just make a joke? And laughed!”

Still grinning, Kihyun shrugged, loosening his tie and running his hands through his hair. He didn’t know what he was doing either, talking to Hoseok of all people. If his father found out, even if it had been a while since he last physically hurt Kihyun, Kihyun knew he’d certainly start beating him again. And yet, Kihyun didn’t mind. He wanted that freedom, that chance to make his own choices and talking to the person his father hated the most seemed just like the best way to start doing that.

“I do that sometimes. So um, did you want something?” Kihyun asked.

“Yeah I have a birthday present for you.”

“Hoseok, you- you really didn’t have to.” Kihyun answered, brows furrowed because since when were him and Hoseok best friends, since when did they give each other presents. Their 2 conversations both ended in Kihyun walking away.

“So you won’t accept? Kihyunnie, it took me months to think of this!”

“Months? Didn’t you just find out it was my birthday this morning?”

“Busted.” Hoseok answered, grinning sheepishly. “I’ve actually known it was your birthday for a while. I asked my friends about you last winter – you know after that day on the field – and they told me everything they knew.”

“Why?” Kihyun asked, taking a step back.

Hoseok straightened up, closing the gap between them and smiling softly. “Isn’t it obvious? I’m interested in you.”

A gasp escaped Kihyun’s lips before he could help it and he stepped back, ignoring Hoseok’s hurt expression, turned on his heels and ran.

*

“Are you listening to me?”

Kihyun turned to his father, observing him for a moment. His hair had begun to turn white and his eyes, looked tired and hollow. His hands shook as he held his spoon and even his once powerful voice seemed weak all of a sudden.

“Why did you kick Nora out?” Kihyun asked and his father stopped eating, clearly not expecting Kihyun’s question.

“Your sister strayed from the light.” He responded.

“She fell in love.”

“With a _girl_.” His father responded, voice seething with hatred.

“So you kicked her out, and not just out of the house. The town.” Kihyun replied, his own appetite gone. It had been a week since he ran from Hoseok, and every time he closed his eyes, all he could see was that hurt, that pain he’d inflicted on him. The one thing Kihyun never wanted to be, was like his father. And yet, he had done the same thing his father did to his sister. He hated himself, hated that he hurt Hoseok and hated that he was so transparent that a stranger sussed him out in seconds. Hoseok must have known, he must have seen that Kihyun was gay, why else would he have confidently confessed. He must have thought something could happen between them.

“Yes, I did what the lord wanted me to do.”

“What the lord wanted you to do? You preach and fucking preach all the damn time about this God, this God that makes no mistakes and loves every single one of his creations. And yet you couldn’t love your own daughter? Who are you to decide what God wants?” Kihyun asked, knuckles gripped tightly in an effort to calm himself down.

In a split second, his father stood up, reached over and slapped Kihyun, grabbing him roughly by the collar. Kihyun gasped, eyes stinging from the contact as his father pushed him against the wall.

“Do not question me.”

“I’ve bit my tongue all my life, but maybe it’s time I stopped. Who are you to decide what God wants?” Kihyun repeated.

He gasped as his father smacked him against the wall, his head hitting the concrete. Vision blurred, he felt his legs give out as he sunk to the floor. He could hear his father taking off his belt and he shivered as he felt the first of hits come. Adrenaline coursing through his body, he crawled, using his hands to block the hits and bolting out the front door. He was thankful it was summer as he ran through the forest, cutting through the fields. One destination in mind. Hoseok. He had to get to Hoseok.

He could feel blood trickling from the back of his head and down his back as he ran, tree branches gabbing at his exposed skin and feet bleeding. He ran out of the forest, heard the noise of the party before he even reached Hoseok’s part of the town. Keeping to the shadows, he continued running, stopping once in a while to see if he could spot Hoseok.

Finally spotting a flash of blue, Kihyun gasped, running forward, ignoring the exclamations that came from people’s mouths as he shoved through.

“Hoseok!” he screamed, desperate and slowly losing strength. The noise was too much, it was too crowded, the lights too blinding. Everything was just too much.

“Hoseok, please.” He tried again, legs finally giving out as he collapsed, smacking against the floor.

“Kihyunnie.” Was the last thing he heard before he finally allowed himself to close his eyes.

*

“So you brought him back here?!”

Kihyun groaned, forehead throbbing as he slowly opened his eyes. The room he was in had no light, the curtains closed and everything on Kihyun’s body, down to his fingernails hurt.

“I couldn’t just leave him on the street!” a voice that sounded like Hoseok’s responded.

“He’s the preacher’s boy.”

“His name, Minhyuk. Is Kihyun. Being the preacher’s son doesn’t mean he deserves whatever happened to him. Did you see how badly he was bleeding?”

“I know he gets your dick throbbing for some odd reason Hoseok, but you can’t keep him here.”

“I can’t keep him here. In my house?” Hoseok answered, voice turning a dangerous low and despite his body protesting, Kihyun got up, holding on to the wall for support. He threw open the door, ignoring the pain the sudden light brought him and made his way towards the voices.

His friend, Minhyuk spotted Kihyun first. Lips pulled into a scowl as he pushed past him and walked out the door.

“You shouldn’t be up.” Hoseok chastised, running to hold on to Kihyun and guide him to a chair.

“I’m sorry, Hoseok. I’m so sorry. I didn’t know where else to go.”

“You’re always welcome with me, it’s fine. Just tell me who did this to you.” Hoseok said, anger flashing across his face.

“No offence but I doubt you could take him. Besides you’re only 18, got your whole life waiting for you. Wouldn’t want that pretty face of yours trashed.”

“I’m 21 actually. It was my birthday in March.”

“Oh.”

“But I can be 18 if you want me to! If my age is the reason you ran from me that day I can totally be 18.”

Kihyun blushed, looking down at his bruised arms and sighing. “I’m sorry for that by the way. I shouldn’t, I shouldn’t have done that. I panicked and I-”

“It’s okay. I was confessing to the preacher’s son I mean I should have-”

“No!” Kihyun protested, wincing at his own voice. “No I mean, I’m not like ‘death to all gays’ or something Hoseok I’d be wishing death on myself in that case.”

“Oh so you’re…”

“Yeah, I am.”

Hoseok grinned, scooting closer to Kihyun, “so why’d you run?”

“Security.”

“I don’t understand.”

“My sister, Nora. She um, she was kicked out of the town. You said you asked your friends about me, I’m assuming they told you. It was quite a scandal you know. The preacher’s daughter falling in love with a woman. My dad was furious and kicked her out instantly. And then turned the focus to me, moulding me into what he deems as a perfect son I guess. It was easy for him too, to treat me like crap since I killed my mum I suppose. But my dad, he’s all I have. Our house is all I have, without him I have no security.” Kihyun finished, tears coming out of his eyes before he could stop it.

“Killed your mum?”

“We were driving to New York to meet with my grandparents, I was six at the time. Annoying bratty kid that couldn’t ever shut up. I kept asking her to play a game with me over and over again. And she took her eyes off the road Hoseok, for one second to tell me to be quiet. That second was enough for everything to go wrong. And I survived and she didn’t.”

“Kihyun you didn’t-”

“Please, don’t try to convince me I didn’t. I hate that. I did, and it’s gonna haunt me for the rest of my life. It’s just how it is.”

“Wow, and I thought I had baggage.” Hoseok replied, smiling softly.

“Yeah? What’s yours?”

“Lost my entire family to an accident. Both brothers, both parents. Shipped to my grandparents who kicked me out at 15 when they caught me kissing a boy. Homeless for a bit. Worked odd jobs and saved up and finally here I am at this town at 21. My own house and everything. That’s my sob story.”

“I’m sorry.” Kihyun replied, and Hoseok moved closer until they were touching shoulder to shoulder.

“Hey, we’re a couple of messed up souls. A perfect fit right?”

Kihyun looked up, Hoseok’s warm brown eyes staring back at him. He smiled, nudging him slightly and finally feeling at ease for the first time in a while.

“I promise I won’t run from you again. If you promise to give me a second chance.”

“Well, as I am older than you I suppose I’ll have to be the mature one.”

Kihyun laughed, leaning his head on Hoseok’s shoulder. “Can you also do me one more favour?”

“Hmm.”

“Stop smoking, please.”

“Not dating yet and you’re already trying to change me.”

Kihyun sat up, panicking slightly, “No I-“

“God, you’re so cute. I’m joking Kihyun, once you eat, and freshen up and are safely tucked in bed. I’ll go throw all my packs of cigarettes out. Or if you want me to do it in front of you I can.”

“You’d really do that, for me?”

Hoseok smiled, lightly touching Kihyun’s cheek and pressing a small kiss to his forehead. “Of course. It’s gonna be hard though, I’ve been smoking all my life. But I can’t have the guy I hope to date in the future suffocate because of cigarette smoke.”

“You’re so dramatic.”

“And you’re absolutely adorable. Now let’s get you all washed up. I can cook something for you while you shower.”

*

“I’ll wait here.”

Kihyun nodded, letting go of Hoseok’s hand and walking towards the front door of the house he used to call a home. It had taken a week of Hoseok’s nurturing and rest before he finally found the strength he needed to do what he had to do. His father, he knew would be at the church and he had convinced Hoseok to let him go back and get his belongings.

Taking the spare key from the potted plant in the corner, Kihyun stepped inside the house making a straight beeline for his room. Without a second thought he packed his belongings, hastily shoving them inside a suitcase Hoseok had lent him. Next, he picked up the photograph of his sister he had hidden underneath his bed and the letters she had been sending him and he had secretly been receiving. Along with her phone number and address in New York. Without sparing a glance to his father’s room, he walked out, heart free and bursting.

Hoseok was perched on his motorcycle, sucking on a lollipop with determination. He had done what he promised, getting rid of all his cigarettes and replacing them with lollipops.

“You okay?” he asked, taking the suitcase off Kihyun’s hand.

Kihyun turned back towards the house.

“I will be.”

*

“We’re almost there Kihyunnie, I promise.” Hoseok exclaimed, almost losing the lollipop in his mouth in the process. He had insisted on giving Kihyun’s birthday present to him despite Kihyun’s protests of it being 2 weeks too late. Kihyun smiled, holding on to Hoseok’s hand tighter as they navigated their way through the forest and up a hill.

Though it was obvious to probably anyone who saw them that they both liked each other, Kihyun had asked Hoseok to take things slow. Get to know each other first before anything. And Hoseok had agreed, dramatically declaring his couch his new bed and only being romantic if Kihyun started first. Kihyun had never liked anyone as much as he liked Hoseok.

“Just tell me what the gift is.” Kihyun replied, pouting slightly and Hoseok laughed, walking faster.

“Almost there.” He simply responded, scooting closer as they walked in comfortable silence.

“Okay now, close your eyes.” Hoseok said, suddenly stopping and Kihyun closed his eyes instantly.

“If I fall and break my neck you’re responsible.” When Hoseok didn’t respond, Kihyun sighed, grinning a bit. “You’re over the moon because I trusted you and closed my eyes instantly aren’t you.”

“I’m smiling so damn hard right now you don’t even know.” Hoseok answered, leading the way.

“You’re this whipped for me huh.”

“Absolutely. Okay now open your eyes.”

Kihyun opened them to see they were at the top of the hill, the forest forgotten behind them. From where they were, Cedar Cove seemed small, insignificant as miles and miles of land stretched beyond the horizon. The sun was starting to set, an orange glow casted on the land and Kihyun inhaled, laughter spilling out of his mouth as he took everything in.

“I, wow.” He whispered, turning to find Hoseok smiling at him.

“Like it?”

“Love it. Thank you. I feel like I can do anything.”

“You _can_ do anything.” Hoseok stated.

“Can I? Even sing? I’ve always wanted to do that, go to college to pursue a music degree. I stopped dreaming about that though, my life was always going down one road. Becoming a preacher after my dad.”

“Now your life can be yours Kihyun, you can do anything you want with it. I’ve heard you sing and you have the most amazing voice I’ve ever heard. I have no doubt you can become a world famous singer if that’s what you desire.”

Kihyun turned, lacing Hoseok’s fingers with his and leaning forward, pressing a quick, chaste kiss to his lips.

“You finally kissed me.” Hoseok whispered, blush flying to his cheeks and Kihyun grinned.

“God you’re the most contradictive person ever. Bad boy my ass.” Kihyun answered, closing the distance between them again, lips capturing Hoseok’s. He hoped to convey all that he felt into that one kiss. How grateful he was, how happy. How he felt brave with Hoseok by his side. How he never wanted Hoseok to leave his side. His father would be somewhere in the church, preaching, being his hypocritical self. But Kihyun was here, with Hoseok. And he was happy.

*

Kihyun paced the living room, heart thumping as he waited for Hoseok to return from work. He glanced back down at the letter in his hand from Nora letting him know a complex in her apartment in New York had a vacancy for cheap. He could leave Cedar Cove, move close to his sister and her fiancé, go to Uni, and get his degree. But Hoseok, he left New York due to the memories, due to his grandparents and losing everyone he loved. Cedar Cove was Hoseok’s fresh new start away from that. Kihyun couldn’t take him from that.

Kihyun walked towards the window, shivering slightly as he watched the snow fall heavily. He had only been with Hoseok officially for 6 months, to ask him to leave Cedar Cove behind and go with him to New York seemed too big to ask. Kihyun did not want to know his answer either, didn’t want him to say no.

“Kihyunnie?”

Strong arms wrapped around his waist and Kihyun turned around, pressing a kiss to Hoseok’s temple.

“You didn’t even hear me come in, what’s wrong?”

Silently, Kihyun handed Hoseok the letter, biting his lip as Hoseok read. Finally, he looked up.

“I know, it’s been 6 months since we’ve been dating, and I can’t- I can’t ask you to move back to New York. To a place I know brings back harsh memories for you. But the thought of losing you, of leaving you behind, I can’t fathom it. I don’t want to think about it.”

“Do you want me to move with you? To New York?” Hoseok asked, expression not betraying how he felt.

“More than anything.” Kihyun admitted, eyes downcast.

“Well then. We better get packing, and call Nora and ask her to try and keep the complex for us. Also ask her how much the down payment is. I’m getting paid tomorrow so we can send the money to Nora or something.” Hoseok answered and Kihyun looked up, eyes glistening with tears.

“You’d, you want to come with me?”

Hoseok smiled, shrugging off his jacket and pulling Kihyun into his arms. “I can’t believe you were even worried I’d say no. I go wherever you go, Kihyunnie.”

Kihyun sniffed, looking up and leaning up, crashing his lips onto Hoseok’s. He grinned as a small groan escaped from Hoseok’s mouth, hand going up to caress Kihyun’s cheek.

“God, Ki, if we don’t stop now I’ll seriously lose control.” He whispered, tracing a line of kisses down Kihyun’s neck.

“Go ahead.” Kihyun replied, hand going underneath Hoseok’s shirt, desperate for skin. Hoseok pulled back, eyes darkened.

“You sure?”

Kihyun nodded, leaning up to bite Hoseok’s lips and tug him closer.

“Absolutely.”

He laughed as Hoseok picked him up, and carried him inside their bedroom, gently laying him down.

“Go easy on me, it’s my first time.” Kihyun said, blush creeping to his cheeks as Hoseok leaned over.

“I’ll make you feel good. Trust me.” He whispered, lightly biting Kihyun’s earlobe. Kihyun nodded, watching as Hoseok reached over to the bedside table, taking out what he assumed was lube and condoms. Dropping them on to the bed, he helped Kihyun take off his shirt, trousers and boxers, then stepped back. Kihyun lowered his eyes, body flushed as he felt Hoseok’s gaze on him.

“You’re so beautiful Kihyunnie.”

“I’m seriously going to die of embarrassment if you don’t stop.”

Hoseok laughed, discarding his clothes. Kihyun finally saw his tattoos fully, snake climbing up his right arm and various patterns on his collarbones and neck. Kihyun would have to ask him about them later.

“You’re the beautiful one.” Kihyun stated and Hoseok moved closer, climbing over Kihyun and pressing wet kisses on his neck. He deftly used his fingers to stroke at Kihyun’s nipples, skilfully rotating them in a way that had Kihyun gasping.

“I’ll make you feel so good baby.” He whispered, lips capturing Kihyun’s nipples and free hand inching downwards until he was holding Kihyun’s cock, stroking up a rhythm. Kihyun gasped, hand going to tug at Hoseok’s hair before he could help it as whimpers erupted from his mouth.

“Hoseok I need-”

“What do you need?”

“You. Please. All of you.” Kihyun begged, breath coming out fast. Hoseok nodded, reaching over to grab the lube and condoms.

“You sure you want this?” he asked one last time and Kihyun sat up, kissing him hard in response.

“Yes.”

Putting on the condom and generously splattering the lube on, Hoseok lowered Kihyun back down, eyes dark as he positioned himself between Kihyun’s legs.

“It’s gonna hurt a bit.” He whispered, inching closer until Kihyun felt his cock at his opening.

“Go ahead.” Kihyun whispered, eyes closed as he waited for the impact. He gasped as Hoseok finally moved, pushing through and filling him up. Despite trying, he felt hot tears coming out of his eyes and Hoseok stopped, waiting.

“You can move.” Kihyun stated after a while, eyes closed. Hoseok leaned down, pressing a kiss to his eyelids.

“Look at me.” He commanded and Kihyun opened his eyes, gaze locked with Hoseok’s as he started to move. The pain came first, Hoseok’s cock seemed to fill him up completely and stretch him out. He moved slowly, sweat forming at his forehead as his breathing started to speed alongside Kihyun’s. The pleasure came next, as Kihyun’s body started to adjust, and his breathing became laboured. Eyes never leaving Hoseok’s, he reached out, grabbing on to his hand.

“You can move faster.”

Hoseok compiled, steadily building a rhythm and reaching forward to stroke Kihyun’s cock, hand moving fast. Kihyun gasped, a moan escaping his lips and filling the bedroom as Hoseok moved faster and faster.

“You’re so beautiful.” Hoseok whispered, leaning down and sloppily kissing Kihyun.

“God Hoseok, I’m gonna-”

He turned away, voice lost as Hoseok sped up and he felt his stomach churning, cock bursting to release.

“Look at me. Look at me when you cum.” Hoseok instructed.

Kihyun turned towards him, saw his eyes filled with love and adoration and came, Hoseok’s name spilling out of his mouth like a confession. Hoseok came soon after, pulling out of Kihyun and going into the bathroom. He came back with a wet towel, pressing it softly to Kihyun’s skin to clean him up before finally climbing into bed.

Kihyun turned towards him, sated and happy, eyes starting to close as Hoseok pulled him closer.

*

“You don’t deserve to know, but I just came to tell you I’m leaving.”

Kihyun’s father glanced back to where Hoseok was sitting in the car, averting his eyes. He had sold his motorcycle and used that money to buy a car for them to drive to New York. The snow that had fallen during Christmas was now starting to thaw and Kihyun couldn’t think of a more perfect time to leave. A new year in New York, with new beginnings.

“Where are you going?”

“New York. Nora’s apartment had an opening and we took it. We’ll be spending new years with her and her fiancé.” Kihyun stated, taking pleasure in the way his father’s lips curled downwards.

“A lesbian daughter, a gay son. This is the test God gave me.” His father said, sitting down on the steps and Kihyun scoffed.

“You will never change. And I don’t expect you to. You’ve hurt me, so much. But still, you raised me in faith, you raised me to believe, and I forgive you. I still believe in God, I still read the bible and when I get to New York I’ll find a church to go to. I’ll still pray and I’ll still hope. But I’ve chosen to believe in my God, the one I know loves me, regardless of my sexuality. He made me this way and like you always say, he makes no mistakes.”

“So you choose to sin.” His father replied, eyes trained on Hoseok in the car. Kihyun smiled, watching the way Hoseok fidgeted, still learning to live without his cigarettes.

“If it’s a sin to be with him, to be with this man I’ve found myself loving more and more every day. Then yeah, I choose to sin. Goodbye dad.”

Without a second glance, Kihyun walked away, getting into the car. He heard the slam of the door as his father walked inside the house and he shrugged, turning to Hoseok.

“Ready?”

Hoseok nodded, leaning over to kiss Kihyun and smiling widely. “I can’t wait for our future together.”

Kihyun smiled, as Hoseok started up the car, driving away and leaving Cedar Cove behind them.

“Neither can I.”

**Author's Note:**

> I've been working on this for a while actually. Taking things out, switching things up, calling Kihyun's sister like 5 different names before I settled on Nora. And deeply contemplated whether I should post this. But just as Kihyun managed to do in this fic, you just gotta go for it right? || comments always welcomed!!
> 
> come find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/wdymkiho)<3


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